PIÑATA!


PIÑATA!

Published on June 11th, 2010 by Joel

it is an event when we get reader mail – when i get it, i hurriedly forward it to nathan and then we will likely look at it lovingly a few more times that day. we got one yesterday, though, that read suspiciously like spam (slightly edited for your sanity):

Dear Joel,

I’ve just stumbled across your website (loved the Genie strip)again and wondered how I could my stuff to a wider audience. I’m a complete novice at this stuff and two of my mates put the website and blog together for me, based on my scripts.

The ******* website was launched three months ago and has since built up a cult following and received a great deal of critical acclaim from senior editors and publishers who have stated that ***** is ‘the best fiction submission I have EVER received’, ‘satirical and stylized’, ‘most intriguing proposal I’ve read’ and ‘nothing short of comedy genius’.

Since ******** anonymously implies that she is the anthropomorphic incarntion of Madonna’s privates, mainstream publishers were too nervous of the possibility of upsetting Ms Ciccone to actually print the full graphic novel.

To anticipate this and avoid any legal repercussions, I offered the project to Madonna, her manager Guy Oseary and Untitled Entertainment co-founder Jason Weinberg. Mr Oseary replied stating that Madonna politely turned down involvement but thanked us and Mr Weinberg wished the project all the best. Indeed, Jason is actually very supportive of the project and I am still in regualr contact with him.

******* is a unique and original character, possessing an instantly recognisable, worldwide appeal, combined with the innuendo-based traditions of British comedy (Carry On films) and the irreverence of Bottom, with the lewd, puerile yet sharp humour of South Park. Basically, ******** sings and is tired of being kept in the dark, frees herself from those over-muscled loins and embarks on a worldwide singing tour with her manager and agen, to fulfill her true potential.

Regular updates, cartoon strips and articles can be found at ********, whilst the website, ******** demonstrates the graphic styling, but I’d love to find a bigger audience to share my smut.

Stuart

(just to be clear, the main character in this dude’s webcomic is, in fact, the anthropomorphic interpretation of Madonna’s genitalia)

i edited out all of the references to his website itself ’cause, well… it’s real gross. like, the email seemed nice enough, but it’s obvious the dude edited in my name and the name of our most recent comic, and spammed the email massively to a bunch of comic sites.

now, this dude’s site is serious lowest common denominator stuff. i don’t rag on other comic sites, but for this site i’ll make an exception. the point of the internet is that, really, anything goes, but mindless vulgarity is meaningless… the site is actually revolting for the sake of being revolting. it is the depth of the internet, seeing how far you can push boundaries just because you can. he compares his humor to south park in the email. this stuff makes south park look tame. south park has a purpose. every joke here is a lame sexual innuedo, jokes middle-schoolers in schoolyards would go wide-eyed at but would outgrow by grade 9.

i forwarded the dude’s email to nathan, and nathan emailed the guy in a brilliant maneuver of social justice. here are some choice quotes from his email.

“Let me start off by thanking you for your praise and continued interest in our comic, Pib. I appreciate the kind words and support.”

“With that said, I would like to begin by stating that your comic is undoubtedly the most disgusting, juvenile, tasteless thing that I have ever read.”

“The way you described yourself was almost bipolar. On one end of the spectrum you described yourself as a “novice” looking for advice. You then immediately jumped in to telling me that you had a “cult following” and “a great deal of critical acclaim.” So who are you? Inexperienced startup, or God’s gift to webcomics? I am assuming you don’t care how you come off. All you care about is the number of eyes on your page.”

“Please do not contact me or Joel again.

Kind regards,
Nathan Burgess.”

today i checked the dude’s site again, and he had posted a long rant against us, ending with this:

Please do not contact me or Joel again. – I told you they were gay.

When I went back to look at their website, just to see if I misread the signals, I discovered that amongst their links and friends was site called The Bible Fellowship. It was then I realised why the Jesus Lovers were so upset. What does the Da Vinci Code say about the power of the vagina upsetting the church?

Nathan and Joel – Eat my pubes!

in another bit of his blog post, the dude mentions how he misread one of our comics – not only did the dude think that the genie comic was a big innuendo for something – because the character is rubbing the magic lamp – he also thinks PIB is a religious comic, because of a link to (what i assume he purposefully misspelt) “The Bible Fellowship”. dude neglected to mention the link leads to the “The Perry Bible Fellowship”, only maybe the most famous webcomic of all time.

NO BIG DEAL. a funny chapter in PIB history.

and dude who emailed us, if you’re reading, thank you for giving me material for a blog post.

Discussion (8)¬

  1. Mr. Lostman says:

    Gurewitch updated!

    Is there a way I can find this site? Email me maybe? I NEED TO KNOW.

  2. Nathan says:

    That would be playing right into his greasy, hair-covered palms.

  3. Mr. Lostman says:

    You can’t tell me just how disgusting it is and not let me see that for myself. IT IS MY DESTINY.

  4. Stickfodder says:

    You know Lostman’s right. You can’t just tell us how disgusting it is and expect us to not be interested.

  5. Grrpie says:

    I thoroughly enjoyed this. :)

  6. The Dude says:

    Dudes,

    You know the other dudes are right. At the very least, email the greasy, hair covered palms one’s website to those inquiring. Don’t publish the dudes site here, but your loyal reader’s have a request. If they concur with you, then you build trust, and give us the opportunity to scorn them via this anonymous venue. If they find some perverted bond with the dudes, let their lives be enriched with the comic. Stay the course, dudes. And I agree, let them eat your pubes.

    THE DUDE

  7. joel says:

    alright, alright – email me your best haiku and i will send you the address in return. (my emails in the “contact” section)

  8. Nathan says:

    I guess that’s a fair trade. Haikus are cool.

Comment¬