300th post!


300th post!

Published on August 28th, 2009 by Joel

well, turns out that this blog is the 300th blog posted on the gamer candy/good in theory/poop in bed/everyman/rappin’ teddy roosevelt (stay tuned) website! that’s right – over the course of the past few years we three men (four, if you count that folkster who drew a pretty disturbing love story) have crafted together blogs and comics of immense thought and intelligence. who knows what the next 300 will bring? celebs? babes? prizes? none of the above. but you can count on us supplying you with minutes and minutes of discussion on pop culture and breakfast cereal. you’re welcome.

i just discovered this site called “kijiji”. it is amazing. not only are the plenty of dots in the title (”ijiji”), making it look like some kinda obscure asian checkers game, indeed it is my favorite discovery of the past few months (besides when i found a nail clipper at the exact most useful moment. you only think about needing a nail clipper when you look at your nails, and when you aren’t thinking about your nails, they continue to grow. this provokes an awkward situation – at work, at the store, at dinner – you reach to grab a pen, a fork – and everyone notices your incredibly and awkwardly feminine long fingernails. an explanation doesn’t suffice. “i forgot to clip them”. yeah, thats obvious enough, genius. best course of action – simply keep your hands below the table/desk/counter, and make a mental note to cut them later. you won’t, you’ll forget again – but maybe someday you’ll learn. anyways this is a really long bracket session. to sum up, i was about to go out, and found nail clippers under a couch cushion, preventing any future embarrassment). but kijiji is a site similar to ebay, but without the bidding – its like online classifieds. you can find anything. desks, lamps, carpets, dogs, salmon, mail order brides (probly.) but i discovered the site at precisely 6:50 pm and by 8:30 pm i had a brand new huge oak entertainment center in my apartment, which i acquired for FREE without killing ANYONE! let me explain.

for the longest time, my tv was sitting on a big lawn chair as i, in the back of my head, continued to try to remind myself that i needed to seek out an entertainment center in the near future. not only was it an eye sore, but continually gazing downwards to the sloped lawn chair from the couch was creating a massive strain in my neck. so when i was told about kijiji, i looked up “entertainment centers” and immediately set the desired price function in the search to “MIN PRICE: Free – MAX PRICE: Free”. i was greeted with a bunch of stained coffee tables and thrift store table rejects. i was about to give up until i was presented with the entertainment center to end all entertainment centers. a thing of beauty. an abundance of shelves. cd racks. dvd racks. LIGHTS in the top of the sides that plug in so you can see what dvds you have in more light! amazing! the technology! immediately i called the number listed, and a man picked up. his name was stacey (which i secretly find childishly humorous). i asked stacey if i could have his entertainment center, and he graciously said yes. so off i went, driving forty minutes in my station wagon until i reached his extraordinarily rich neighborhood. no wonder he was giving this thing away. they probably usually use them for firewood. stacey let me take the e.c., but when he saw my station wagon, he immediately said “aw, no, that’s not gonna work. not enough room”. i surveyed the back of the station wagon, “trust me, stace”, i scoffed, “i’ve fit an entire bed in there before”. yeah, the entertainment center didn’t fit, not even close.

and then something happened that made me gain a little more hope in humanity.

stroking his beard, stacey said “ok. well, don’t worry about it. i’ll load it into my truck and follow you back to your place”. this rich man, with better things to do with his time – like count his numerous moneys – actually helped a poor college kid like me out and drove forty minutes to my place to unload a entertainment center he was just giving away. that, or he was following me back home to see where i lived so he could later come back and rape me. but for now wooooooo

but now i’m the proud owner of a great entertainment center. i also realize that may have not been the most entertaining story in the world, but the pressures of delivering a quality 300th post is just simply too much to realize!!!!

sweet dreams,

jkd

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